red_feline_eyes

Hello everyone,

This might be my last entry in Livejournal. I do not have any more motivation in updating this journal anymore since all I post on here is drama after drama after drama. So i am going to tell you what has been happening since December:

New Years: 2007. yeah, another year has went by rather quickly. For New Years, I basically worked a morning shift and spent the remaining time playing video games. It was time and a half, so it was an extra bonus. Good money in my pocket. My roommates did not do anything special. We all agreed that this new Years was no different than last New Years. 2000 was the best, the well celebrated one. I enjoyed watching it, curious if Y2K will be a big problem or if Jesus would appear or Satan himself. Nothing but lots of clapping. heh.

Work: Not really much to say about work. Everything is going on the level with me. We have some new employees and some old ones that left. Our manager is terrible. He does not know how to do things right. Even the workers how have been working there longer than our manager knows more about the store and making drinks than he does. He is not right in the head and everyone knows it. I was working extra hard at work last month, cleaning a lot and doing a two man ( or woman ) work load, just to show the manager and the leads that I am a hard worker and I want them to realize that some employees here slack off; they do nothing but sit around and talk and wait until the next customer comes in. The leads and manager knows this, but somewhat not doing anything about it. There is not really much I can do but to keep working a good share and just make time go faster. I am not closing that much in the store anymore. I am basically a mid-shifter working 11 to 7:30 or 12 to 8 instead of 2 to 10 or 3 to 11:30 cl. I dont like getting up early, but I do like to have some day left where I can just relax instead of coming home around midnight and having nothing to do.

Relationships: I had a break up. Yes, I had one last month. Adam, we broke up. he lived like 2 hours away from Boston so it was impossible to see each other as easily as it was when he only lived a 15 minute bus ride away. It was turning into a long distance relationship and it was not going to work out. he lives with his family and his mentally challenged brother who he has to keep an eye on. On the phone, I suggested that we should just be friends. Later that week, we met to go out to dinner and I just broke down crying on the street and while eating with him. It was just too much to bare seeing him when I knew that we were going to break up.

Another reason why the relationship wasn't going to work out. On the side, I am going out with one of my friends, Jack, who works with me and who has a strong crush on me. Jack and I see each other a lot and love to snuggle together. Jack, however, has a girlfriend who I am also friends with. Jack and his girlfriend are very honest people, hippies too which is a plus in my book. Jack and I kissed and got closer. At the end, we felt bad about it that we both told our own mates what happened. I told Adam what happened and he was a little sad, but he did not mind. The reason why he didn't was because, a few hours later, he calls me and told me that he too was seeing his exgf since she lives close to his parents place and they too have been making out. He waited to tell me this and this was happening long before Jack and I started going out. Adam was not the best person to tell you recent info unless something similar happens to another person...I was not mad at him, but happy that there was another person closer to him that gave him the attention that I couldn't give him because of our work schedules. He still works in the store near mine, so now and then, we see each other. I was very down after that, jealous secretly because I always asked how he and his new gf was doing. Adam and I were also planning to live together this August, but that will never happen. That too got me very bummed out...

Jack and I are still seeing each other, but it is very complicated. His gf knows that we are going out together, but I dont want to tare him away from her. They have been going out for almost 5 years, but he has been thinking about the relationship he is in with his gf. Its very complicated and sometimes, it causes more problems and drama. I love Jack so much. He is like a child and I want to take care of him. His gf is no different, but I really like her as well. They are both fun people to be around. We dont know where this is heading and I dont want to brush him off. I cant pleasure Jack as much as I want to because I want to respect him and his gf.

I care about Jack so much…

...I dont know what to do... Ookami is much like a great friend who has seen me naked numerous of times, but we never got closer... Jack is different.

Ookami as well, suffered heart break almost the same time as Adam and I broke up. we are both depressed furries...

It's also my exbf's birthday ( not Adam, but an old one years ago ). I haven't talked to him ever since we broke up. But I just felt like telling him to have a Happy Birthday, just to be friendly, and still not talk to him. I recently was with some friends and they had their friends over and they acted somewhat like my exbf, so they got me thinking of him and I just emailed him... He replied with a Thank You IM.

Valentines Day: Wet, icy, hail, snow, windy and below freezing. That is the weather that is going on outside right now. This crappy weather chose the best time to come, this one "loving" day. I spend the day inside except for an hour of walking around, shopping for my "personal items". Ookami wanted to be alone today and he told me not to come over. I dont blame him for being in a funk. I too am very depressed and alone. I told Jack to stay with his gf today and not visit me. Its Valentines and you should be with the one you love dearly and plus the weather was very crappy... I knew it was going to be a crappy day right when this month started...

I only got one Valentines so far and that is from a guy who has a strong crush on me online. It was very sweet of him to send me something and I love it a lot, but sadly I was in no mood to give anything out due to my depression. I had no motivation.

Wii: Ookami and I got a Wii last month. Its so much fun! I played it with a couple of my friends and it is so much fun. I have WiiSports, WiiPlay, Red Steel, Zelda, Super Swing Golf and Metal Slug. Good games and much fun! I like the Golf and bowling game in WiiSports. Ookami and I always play golf since it is so much fun but to others, it is not...That does suck.. I cant wait until Super Smash Brothers Brawl comes out. That was the reason why I brought the Wii. I cant wait ^.^!!

Fur Metting: Well, I went to a fur meeting in January along with Jack, Ookami and a few other friends. There were fewer people there this year. We all went to Fire and Ice and had a blast. Jack does not know that much about Furries, so he was a little scared and shy in front of all these animal lovers. Heh. It was cute. Adam couldn't make it. This was before the breakup. He had much fun in the furry meeting last year.

Conclusion: That is it. That is what was been happening in my life these past few months. Ookami is venting out his sadness through his work. If you want to see it, go to the link on the side. I am venting my depression by eating, sleeping and playing the Wii, trying to keep skinny by playing lots of Tennis, Boxing, Golf and Bowling. I break a sweat playing those games, so they are doing me lots of good ^_^. Life is very hard, even to someone who really loves romance and honesty. The world is not honest at all, but just as rough as the weather here in Boston. You have no idea what will happen. I just hope things get better. If not, then I dont know what I am going to do with myself. I need love. I need respect. I need attention. I need someone there that would take care of me and to be taken care of. I dont have that and if I do, they slip away either stolen by someone else or betrayal. Maybe I am too sensitive, too honest. maybe that is what drives the people I love away. Maybe I dont match up to what they really want in a relationship. Maybe I am not attractive enough. Maybe it is because of my intelligence, its low and I dont know that much about the world and I dont want too. People what their dream girl or guy in their lives. Half do find them. Others dont and go through thones and needles in the end.

Its Valentines Day and this one really sucks...Weather and Emotionally. I dont know why I am still a "romantic" is I can not seem to keep a romantic AND honest relationship going for long...

Do you still want me typing here even though I hardly update it, and when I do I rant on how depressed I am? Do you believe any of this or think that I am making all of this up? Do you even read ALL of this in the first place? What am I to do?


- Josei a.k.a Pussy Cat

( First, I just wanna say that Ookami is forcing me to post in my journal. If I dont post, he wont give me back my stash! He found them and is refusing to give them back to me! Ookami said that there are a lot of people wondering how and where I am. Well, thanks everyone >^.^<. )

Ok. Hi everyone~!

Well, it is christmas, of 2006. Yes, time flies by so quickly! The weather out here in Boston is..well..Sunny, mild cloudy and slightly warm. Snow? What is "snow"? I tell you, the snow will come in the middle of the year instead of the end, or not at all. Its kindof scary. When I was young, it would always snow on christmas. But now, it rains and or sunshines. I miss it. I miss playing in the snow with my sister ( but I do not miss shoveling the driveway ).

Christmas: It was a nice christmas. I spent the time with my family and a now-dead Japanese fighting fish. ( Dont blame me ). My sister loves to celebrate the holidays; loves to get and decorate a tree, carving pumkins, turkey table decorations, etc. So, she did a number on teh tree, all the very old ordiments from childhood. Fond memories ( except the star that my ex gave me a few years ago. Why I still have that is beyond me... ) Lets see. I got two shirts, a pair of pants, some sketch books, money, candy, an external harddrive, and a stuff animal. They were very sweet~! Ookami gave me a 40" stuff animal tiger, which after a series of events with him, I named him "White Luck". I got my mother an expencive perfume bottle with chocolate scent, my father a buddha, and my sister the movie Rent. I gave Ookami a gift, but I am not going to say what~! I gave Adam a nice gift...well...I took him to dinner the other day.

Work: Work has been almost like hell. The week of the holiday has been very busy. I mean VERY busy. There has been a few cutback and call outs, so there was only a handful of us running the cafe. ( Ookami was there too. Ill get back to that later ). Our coffee machine went on the fritz, we were running out of some supplies, customers getting anger that we dont have Starbucks giftcards but Barns and Noble giftcards. They just dont get it.

I was just informed by Ookami that my image has been uploaded, the one he drew for me with White Luck, located here: ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/344321/ )

White Luck: Well, maybe everyone is wondering about my new stuff animal. Yes, I took it to work with me on the same day Ookami gave it to me. Its a 40" stuff siberian tiger. So, I took him to work with me and hid him in the backroom and under the cash register desk. My manager was not working, so I got away with it. But it was very busy and it was hard to not get a stuff animal that size clean in a coffee shop...so...at the end, it got ditry. Then, the tail rips off...I usually carry something that big by teh tail when I am tired of carrying it with my arms. It ripped off and I felt very sad. I took it back to Ookami's and he helped me clean and stich it back. I was still sad, but when Ookami cleaned White Luck, I spent time with him. >^.^<

Well, that is all that I have now, I am somewhat distracted, watching TV and typing. I will get back to everyone here later tonight. Now, I will get my stash back! Yay!

- Pussy

Hi all!

Its been a while since I last posted here. I am sorry, but I guess I am not really used to post a journal online that much. used to do it a lot back in college, but I guess it is starting to fade out a little. Anyways, here is the news from the past few weeks:

Thanksgiving: Well, I took almost everyones advice on the eating part from my last journal entry. I ate a lot of turkey and stuffing on Thanksgiving. I went to my parents house and saw my younger sister, father and mother. I spent a day there, slept over, then head back to my apartment. We had fun. My mother did all the cooking whle I spent time with my dad and sister, watching movies and playing video games. We played MarioParty 7, but I forgot the mic. Then I played a shootem up game with dad. We had a good time. We hen had dinner at the dining table. I had my fill, but I only had one plate of food. I used to have mabe 2, but now it is down to one. My stomach shrunk and I am very skinny now... After dinner, my mother brought in the Disny/Pixar movie CARS. We watched it as a family, but it got kindof dull near the middle and many of us fell asleep. Afterwards, we watched CRASH. It was apowerful movie. I enjoied it.

Shortened Luck: For a month, I wanted this certain kind of tarrot deck. Yes, I do tarrot card readings and yes, I am scary :P. This deck had rare images of feline gods and goddesses. It is very hard to find and even get if you are lucky. So, I saved up enough money and pushed myself to get a pack. But..when I got to the store, they were all sold out. I couldn't believe it. I went to the clerk and asked her when teh next shipment of cards were going to come in. She was unsure. She said that once they got the shipment, they were all sold out within four hours. I really felt down, but yet, in teh back of my mind, I knew this would happen. I went to other stores that had Tarrot cards and other Wiccan stuff, and they too were all sold out, giving me the same stories as the first clerk.

Apperantly, I am not the ONLY one to be so down hearted. Ookami is trying to get the new Nintendo system, Wii. he told me that he tried to get one with the money he had, but the gameshop store was all sold out. Apparently he missed it by a day. he checked other places and they too were all sold out. The Wii rush was rather quick and all the systems in Boston were all sold out. The extra controllers too. His roommate bought one and got a free one from a conest online. Lucky! he sold his free one to a friend of his.

Ookami is still looking and asking when the Wii will be out, but I told him not to do that so much and not to bother the employees at the stores. i am sure they are fed up with that same question: " Do you have any Wiis? " I would be pissed. Ookami plans to get a Wii for $250, the the Zelda game for $50 and then an extra controler for me at $40. That is a lot of money there.

Work: Nothing new, except I ended up cleaning chocolate off of the floor. A few weeks ago, I was in teh back, cleaning up the mop bucket because it had thousands of fruit flies in it. The 4 liter tub of freshly made hot mocha was on the counter for the next day. Now, I recently made that mocha and it is still hot and wet. its basically hot water with choclate in it, so it is very thick at this stage. By accedent, I hit the tub of Mocha with my elbow and it fell to the ground, exploding mocha everywhere. The tub burst open and mocha few all over the place. There was a half of inch of mocha all over the ground and splatter on the walls and sinks. I colsed my eyes and tried to wake up from this "nightmare". It was still there. So, I just grabbed a mop and started to clean it up, but using a mop on very thick mocha is very hard. It hardly picked up any of it. Some other employees saw the mess I made and laughed, not botheirng to help me, until one decided to get another mop and helped me clean up the mess with another mop. I was laughing myself, trying to have fun while cleaning up mocha. After an hour, we were finished. I dont think any of the managers know about it, so I hope they never heard about it. I wouldn't get in trouble or anything, it would just be embarrising....

The funny thing is, the tub exploded next to me and I didnt get mocha on me...It was strange...

Well...anyways, that is really about it. Ill talk to you guys later. ^_^

- Pussy

That is the title of one of Ookami's work ( http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/35069271/ ). I recently watched this movie with him and it got me thinking about health and..stuff. It was a horror movie, um..."Cabin Fever". Its about this group of grad students who go to an issolated cabin in the middle of nowhere. They have fun and drink and stuff when they get this strange flesh eating virus and each dies one by one by decay, or being eated by a dog or shot at by local towns folk. Anyways, it got me thinking, like, our health and stuff...

Im thin, but I barely eat. When I do, mostly it is a little cheese, like grilled cheese sandwitches or Alfraido. Ookami said I should try to eat more greens and meats ( and less panties... ). Im getting heart burn now and then and it worries me. I walk to work every day and it is a good 30 minute walk over there and another 30 walking back. Maybe he is right, I need to eat more greens and maybe more meat. Its just that...I cant cook that well. I made stir-fri with chicken, noodles, and veggies, but after eating that everyday to save money, I got alittle sick of it. So instead, I went to buying weight-watcher meals, even though I should GAIN weight, not loose it... ;whimpers:

Anyways, I just wanted to get that off of my chest...I should eat more things, maybe cook something. Food here is expencive now, seriously. Just a week of supplies is roughtly $20 to $35 dollars, depending if what I buy is on sale or not...Ookami said that if I dont change, he will take money away form me so I can buy anymore...um..edible panties. He is so mean!

Its 12:20am, and I have wake up in 9 hours...So, I shoudl go to sleep...I should eat an apple or something...

- PC

Hello everyone.

The Guest: Ookami invited a guest from Detroit, Lightlion Gospel. Ookami told me that he came over last year too. I think I met him before. I have to check my journal from last year. He seems like a very very cool guy, definatly the guy who brings good vibes where ever he went. I stayed over Ookami's place for a few nights and Gospel cooked for us: Breakfast and Dinner. He wanted to cook and didnt want anyone touching the stove. He is such a sweet heart! I bit him many times and teasted him constantly to the point where he couldn't look at me anymore with a straight face. heheh! We walked around Boston, showing him the sites. It was nice! All of us had so much fun together. He is such a joy to be with! I begged Ookami to have him over next year so we can play with him again. I didn't get a solid answer, but I hope it is a yes!

The BOO Party: Well, it is ( was ) halloween, yep. Ookami held a small party on Sunday. I was amazed that people showed up, even in half-costume! Let see, Silva came over in her Zibri costume that she made herself, Chris Gamer came over in a dog costume that looke dlike a child's PJ uniform, Chris's roommate Chris came as a Jedi Lion with a large light up lightsavor! Matt, a new furry friend, came over with bunny ears and a nose. It was cute~! Kiffa came with a black tail and big footy paws~! They were very cute~! Ookami and I never expected that he would be coming over, but when Silva was about to leave, he arrived and they stayed a little longer~! Lightlion didn't bring a costume, even though he was WARNED that Ookami was hosting a Halloween party! But Ookami had a spare costume and let Lightlion use it. Willy, an old friend came over, but he was not in costume and left early. Mur! Malden folk!...They do nothing but play WoW... Adam came over! Yay! Weee! Gospel had some games that he wanted to try out to the gourp, but he never got around to it. Playing video games took up more of our time. But we all loved it~

It started by playing Mario Party 7! Yay! Mic usage! It was so much fun! Since Lightlion was here, we play for 25-30 turns, so it is a long game! Then came the SSBM bangout. Everyone got a chance to play. Ookami remained the top kicker in that game. He pulled a few stunts in that game that blew everyone away. Everyone hated him for his kick ass playing. LOL! Afterwards, we watched John Carpender's The Thing and then Poltergeist. It was crazy fun. heh. We all had a good time watching it even though Silva, Ookami and Gospel were drawing at the same time.

I am not much into big crowds. I got a little shy in the group of friends. I mean, I could communicate with them and all, but it is still that small child in my that wanted to cover my eyes and curl up in a ball out of shyness.

Crazy Mario Kart Party Last night, the last night that Gospel could stay over, Ookami and his roommate had a Mario Kart Double Dash blow out. When they play, they go as crazy as rabit dogs. They make wierd noices, jump up and down, yell out teh wind, I mean realy crazy stuff! They weren't even drunk or intoxicated! Ookami never drinks or smokes, so XP. But Gospel was there with Ookami's labtop and recorded the 4 hour Mario Kart madness in his LJ at: ( http://light-lion.livejournal.com ) I wont go into detail exactly what happened, but I think that Gospel did a good job discribing everything 0.o

Work and costumes: Half way to work, I forgot to bring my costume. I mad esuch a ruckus to my boss about me having a costume for halloween. It wasn't anything big though. Just a tail and some...um...handcuffs..heh :blushes: I was surprised that many of my co-workers were without costumes. One or two had face paint, but that was it. It was alittle slow tonight due to everyone going out, dressed as whatever and drinking. Kindof a slow day...

When work was over, I walked back to my apartment. I saw so many college students dressed up in awsome costumes. I saw many girls in very kinky outfits that were almost too "dangerous" for a male to look at them. In my mind, I wondered how I would look if I had something like that on, something that would make the guys stare at me and pay attention to me. I dont really have anything kinky in my dresser. Just edible panties and a small ripped loose shirt that shows the bottom of my breasts, just to be a tease. I want to go into a bar in something sexy and have fun, but in the back of my mind, I thought about the dangers of wearing something like that in a place where guys and girls drink and have too much fun... Ookami and Adam woudl not be pleased if something would have happened to me if I dressed up in something like that. Halloween is teh only time where you can dress in anything because you want to and no one will point and laugh. I only wore my work clothes ( all black ). I regreated leaving my costume at home...

Well, that was my Halloween and my weekend. Nothing really much to say. Ookami didn't do a halloween picture of me this year. I felt very sad about it, but yet he has been working hard on his comic and work is killing him. So, I hope he does one of me for Christmas or Valentines day...I know, I am needy...

- Pussy

Im in a stage right now where this is constantly haunting my mind. When I get in these moods, I get inspired to write and draw something. I just know that I am going to regret this tomorrow when I am out of my mood swing.

My friend and I are now RPing in a private chat. Been a while since I RPed, heh. We are doing a new RP where we have gay anthro characters and they are in a club now. His character is teaching my character how to dance in the middle of the club dance stage.

Long story short, while I was RPing, I suddenly get the feeling of curiousity, kindof a "punch to the gut" feeling. Thing is, I had some lovers from teh same sex, but in the end, it never worked out. It was more of a curious thing, experimental, but it always ended in heartbreak. Im at a stage where I do not know what I am..Straight, Bi-curious, or Gay...I never really went to third base with anyone, both female and male. I was a little scared about what might happen, although I was curious about it. But, I woudl like to re-experiance those feelings again with someone, someone who I have a crush on and vise versa.

Adam and I are close, but we never went all teh way. We kindof hit a rough patch and somewhat agreed to start seeing other people...yeah..It has gotten to that point...But, I really have no one else to see. I dont want to call up any hotline and try to get a one nigth stand with anybody...I want something real, something soft and comforting...but I would want it to be with someone from the same sex...

Its hard, it is really hard...i dont what to do. Ookami recently posted something on the web. This: ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/257105/ ). It talks about how one worries about age and how things slip past them. It also includes a gay image as well, so that also brings me to this worried journal.

I miss my old gay friend. We were close, but it didn't work out, twice. My gay friend didn't know what she wanted in a relationship and broke up with me, twice. I..its just so hard to let go of something, knowing that you might not to never get it back again for the rest of your young years...I am way too shy to go to a gay club alone. I would go with a friend, but not alone. Hell, I dont have a good fashion sence either...

I have yet to talk to Adam about this, get his view on the situation. I dont know what he thinks or if he had a same type of event in his life. I dont know if he did it with another guy before...

Suggestions? Anyone? i know none of you guys and girls live in Boston, so heh, I know that asking for help eye to eye will be rather difficult.

- PussyCat

Hello all~

Party!!!: October is now here! Halloween is coming up! Yah! Ookami said that he will draw me for halloween again. hehe. It is becoming a tradition now.Last year, I was on a tree holding a pumkin by a thread. The year before that, I was resting on a few pumkins, playing with my knife. he showed my boobies :P Ookami is still planning to throw a party at his small apartment on the 29th. I think it is good timing because FurFright is ending early the week before so that means what ever furry fan or artist is coming back from furfright can come to his small party. Mostly, it will be video games, movies, candy, me dancing on a table ( weee~ ), and BBQ. One of his good friends, Gosbel wil be coming over. His roommate cant wait for him to cook breakfast again. LOL. Dressing up...mur..I have to find something. I know that Chris, a fur-fan and gamer will be coming to the party, dressed in a full cat suit. It will be very interesting. Silva will be coming to, but I dont know if she will dress up or not. I dont thing anyone will since it is two days before Halloween.

Contest What?: On FA, there is this contest going on called Silver Screen. It just ended like 24 hours ago and they have not yet annouced the winner. Basically, it is an art contest where artists on FA draw a movie poster of their own design and concept in their own style. It could be about anything. Ookami posted something. He now faces other talented artists and he thinks that he will not win. The winner gets $200 while the four runner ups get $60 each. Here is a link to his picture if anyone is interested: ( http://www.furaffinity.net/full/214823/ ). Im rooting for him as well as SilvaNoir. She spend to much time on her piece.

Dog Fight: Ok, here is where the title comes into play. Ookami has never met Adam. So, I decided for Ookami to come and meet Adam after work. We met up and all three of us went to go get something to eat. I felt tention between Ookami and Adam. Ookami kept on asking Adam small questions about himself throughout the day. It was like Ookami was testing Adam, seeing if he was a bad guy or something. I could tell Ookami was very protective, he has known me for years and I known Adam for a year. I could understand it, but I really wish Ookami would trust me now and then. I would admit this: I blushed at the thought that Ookami was protective over me. He takes care of me when he is around. It is flattering and I admit that I too act like a child more than often. But something happened durring our hangout. Ookami and Adam got into an arguement. I...cant remember what it was about since I was freaking out to teh point of screaming. All I know is that it was about me. They fought over me ( with words and not fists, thank god ). There was a grab and a push, but that was really about it. Ookami and Adam are not ones to fight with force, but words, even though Ookami sucks at argueing and taunting. He is not used to it. Anyways, I had to push Ookami away and tell Adam to wait by the corner. Ookami told me that he felt something off about Adam, something he didn't like. I told him to trust me. Ookami does not want to see any of his friends hurt, even close related friends. Him being protective is natural and very trustworthy. But also foolish. It all ended with Adam and Ookami shaking hands and Ookami wondeirng off on his own. I was still shaking and shhivering from the fight. I felt very scared...

The no-sex aftermath: Adam and I came back to my place where we relaxed and watched TV. In my mind, I questioned about this relationship Adam and I have. To tell you the truth, for teh past couple of weeks, even after that huge fight with Adam, Andrew and myself, I questioned the relationship and where it stands... We call each other BF and GF, but we dont do anything that relates to that kind of relationship. Its more like we are friends with "benifits", although, something happened. I...I couldn't pleasure Adam. I kissed him, but I felt nothing from it when he returned it. It was just empty...He told me that I use the same "tricks" and he no longer feels surprized. That hurt...I never had sex before so I dont know any moves...After that, we kept our clothes on and never played...Its like this relationship is falling apart. I no longer feel as much love for him as I did months ago. I guess, back then, he lived very close to my apartment. Now, he lives in Conn. where he has to commute by bus to get to work here in Boston. Only once, do I see him every month. two times if lucky. I guess it is the lack of seeing each other that is starting to crumble this relationship. I dont want to hurt him and break up with him. I want to make him happy. He said that even if we do break up, we will still be good friends. I dont want that...I want someone close to me. If he is my friend, the we can no longer snuggle and I LOVE SNUGGLING! :whines: I dont know what to do...he suggests that we see other people, but the draw back is is that he has his eye on no one and I am not that interesting to others. So, we are kindof stuck... Ookami is trying to comfort me and trying to keep me and Adam together, but it is not working out...nothing is...

Your thoughts?: I dont know if any of you have been in the same kind of situation as I have been in. Being alone is hell, and I dont wanna be alone...Im clinggy, and I cling to him like he is going to fade form my life forever, but it is because of that and always thinking on "how to put this reationship, what will I do and what will happen afterwards" has made me very depressed to the point where I see myself not loving him or feel nothing when he kisses me, and that makes me very scared. he said it is all about experiance. There are good times and bad times. I had my share of bad times...I want one that is good...

I dont want to be alone...already, my keypad is wet from my..tears. Yes, I am crying as I type this. Fucken childish, eh? Not very Goth of me, huh...? Things happen for a reason...They always do. I still love him...but I cant feel it...

Am I a cold hearted bitch...?


- Pussy Cat

Hello all. First off, I would like to thank those who has replied to my previous journal entry. It really ment a lot to me. I would like to thank Ardor_Inferi, Issarlk <3, DarkFireNeko, Loron Ostrey, Kaspersq, Zaylas The Bard, WildeWolfMan, and the anonymouses who took the time to write and reply ^_^. Love to you all!

Am I an American?: Well, this is a big question. I visited my folks today to hang out, plus it was my mother's bday, so I had to go and hang out with her. Dad and I were talking until he popped some questions about politics and health issues that were talk about on the news. I told them that I dont have cable in my place and I dont buy the newspaper. he got a little mad because I am so out of touch with what is happening in the world today. He asked me if I voted yesturday, but I told him that I was at work all day. He then asked me about the spinach poisoning. I told him that I dont eat that stuff. ( eeww ) He started to go about that I must be informed about the world around me and be a resorceful American. I said nothing after that. In many ways, I dont see myself as an American because we have ass-hole and greedy people running out land and lives. America is the Big Bully of the world because we have the biggest army and deadliest weapons on the face of the earth and we can go around and take whatever land we want. I do not wish to be called an American if people from other contries and islands think of us as ruthless and bullying the world.

Must I obey Bush?: This goes with my first question above. With him in office, no, I dont think of myself as an American and no, I do not agree with anything our president says or does. I am against all wars that we are part of or that was started. Bush said that this war is to fight terrisim. HELLO! PEOPLE! Bush is a Terrorist! He is ignoring the rules of combat and leadership and thrusting his head first into Iraq and Iran and attacking them without second thoughts. Our Allies from other contries tried to get Bush to not start a war, but he didn't listen. he is just "following his father's footsteps". He is killing innocent people from our side and their side. What kind of leader is that? Many people say that Bush is the Devil. hell, a religious five year old can point that out. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad quoted that "We are all people." I agree with him on that ( however, I dont agree with him that iserial ( jews ) should be wiped off the face of the earth because they took their land. Understandable, but yet what he said connected to Hitler's way of thinking ( scary ). Iraq now says "Death to America". How scary is that?! Some Americans also say "Death to Iraq". Alot of people can get very offended is someone refers to an important figure's way of thinking or actions in a negitive way, espessially if it is connected to the Bible. That how war starts, by words, negitive actions and karma. But yet, we dont understand it. Its like small children just talking off until someone one says something very harmful and starts a fight.

Is the paper a lengthy drama novel? I dont and cant get into political and diplomatic arguments of discussions because it is confusing and plus..heh.. I dont read up on it. Many reasons why I dont watch the news or read teh paper is because there is nothing but sadness in them. Everytime I watch teh news at my folks house, it is always a flood, fire, murder, rape, homicide and war that is on. Nothing happy and if there is, it will only be a small 2 minute blurb. Same with the papers. Its the same thing. The last time I picked up a paper was on break at work. What did I see? "Teacher convicted of raping 20 students", "Kidnapping that led to Homicide", "Medical malpractice leads to murder" and "War with Iraq". What was the happiest artical in the paper? OO! 20% off panties from Victoria Secret! LOL! Its nothing but drama. Thats it! It scares me half to death that we live in a world where we feed and live off of violence and distruction, mostly from our hands and not the weather. Its sad.

Conclusion: I think I am doing my part as an "American" citizen because I pay my Taxes and bills, I have a job, I have a roof over my head, I vote when I can, I help other people, I am kind to my fellow man and family...I mean, thats all that I am doing and I think that is enough. I dont want to join any Army or Navy to be a FULL American citizen because I am against the war and I dont like fighting. My own friend was in the Army and he had to shoot innocent people because "he had to". He constantly has nightmares about the war. That is not very promicing. Plus, taking a life...That must be very hard and sad. You ended someone's life, someone who didn't want to die. I can imagine how much that would hurt as a scar on your heart.

Well, that is it. I guess I would call myself an American if we have a REAL president in office ( one who would think TWICE before acting! ), but those comes as rare as finding a 1930s pennie on the ground. Thanks for reading. I hope I did not cause any ruccus because I talked down on the president.

- Love you all.

J.

Hi everyone.

The day: Its raining outside and my roommate's friend is staying over for a few days, so I am trapped in my room, doing nothing but fiddling on the computer, playing Baldur's gate 2 and watching the entire series of Escaflowne. My eyes, head and tushy hurt so much. There is nothing to do today. And this is my day off from work...

The stayover: My roommates friend doesn't seem to like me at all. She never makes eye contact or speak to me. She is always around teh others. I guess it is just those feelings; you look at someone for a second and hate him or her on the spot. I remember reading something about the Dog sign in the Chinese Zodiac about how Dogs are judgemental and they can point out the wrong people and the right people. I dont know if she is a Dog or not, but it is clear that she wants her distance away from me. I am not going to even bother talking to her since I can feel those vibes coming from her towards me.I remain quiet and stay out of people's way. I have became so good at that that they fail to notice that I am right next to them. Heh. I am ninja :P

The continued fight: Andrew and I still have not yet gotten back together. He still wants to me say that I am the cause of all of this. I told him that I was very sorry for what I said to him and I feel responcible for the fighting. It is clear he did not read my email and still wants me to dig a hole for him to look down upon me. Adam is still confused about which one of us is right. When he went into detail about it, I got very mad. Im sick of being walked over all the time and apologizing for fights that I never started.

The coffee spill: Work at Barns & Nobel ( starbucks ) is somewhat going up and down. The people there ( most of them ) dont relieze I excist. Everyone knows each other very well and they always talk to each other when there is so much work to do. I am stuck doing all the work so I wont get in trouble. 10 people are leaving Barns & Nobel so many of those guys are lazy. I even overheard one of them say that " work will suck because all the cool people are leaving". She was standing five feet from me when she said that. I felt down when I heard that. Yesturday, two girls were really ordering me around and I just wanted to punch them in teh face along with the rude customers that kept pouring in. I wanted to tell them to stop ordering me around and keep their mouth shut, but they have been working longer than me so someway, they are my "supervisors".

The star: A famous Raygai ( spelling? ) musician came by the store. The people I was working with ( the two girls ), screamed and hid themselves behind the wall and window, spying on him, begging to have him come over and get his autograph. Customers kept on coming in and they weren't really working. So I just stormed out and walked over to him. He said his name was Zigi Marley, sone of Bob Marley. I have heard of that name before. I asked him kindly if he would visit out store and give two of my employees his autograph. He came in and they were bouncing off teh walls. Later, they use dthe buisness phone to call their friends and tell them that they have Zigi Marley's autograph while I was stuck making drinks.

The question: Why do people always scream and act like 5 year olds whenever they are around someone very famous? Why must they beg to have someone's autograph on a piece of paper? I asked Ookami this since I heard he is known here and there. He said "it is flattering, but I just want to be treated like a normal person. If I met someone famous, I would treat them like everyone else; with respect and politeness. When they go shopping or do their daily chores, they shoudl swim though a sea of screaming fans just to get from point A to point B." Heh. I remember my father doing back flips when he got a drawing from ( insert people who created teh Simpsons here ) and also met and got Nick Park's ( creator of Wallace and Gromit ) autograph too. He had them mounted.

The meeting with the manager: Anyways, I told my manager about the lack of team work in this store. I did not mention any names, but I told him that I am a dedicated worker and I feel like I am doing all the work while the others have their fun-time chat throughout their job time. He said that he will do something about it andf I told him that he shouldn't mention my name to them. I dont want to be in the spotlight.

The conclusion: All of that happened in two days. This weather is not making me happy at all. I want out, but I can go out. I dont want to get wet and I dont want to be alone. Ookami is not here, all of my friends are out of state or they are all at their jobs until 11 pm. Now my roommates and that girl came back from small shopping, so I am going to remain in my room and online until my eyes hurt. Why am I so shy? My mom said that I have a lot of fire signs in my Zodiac ( dominant, full of energy, warmth aggressive ), but I guess the Dog is the one I mostly connect to, which is almost the complete opposite of my fire signs.

I am not ment to have friends...

Its me. I am still alive.

Well, from my previous "private" entry, Andrew emailed me back three days after I emailed him. he still wants me to take full responcibility for what I have done. But in my first email to him, I told him that what I did was wrong and it was my fault. HE just wants to continue to make me feel sorry about myself even though he still wants to be friends. I cant be his friend. He has too big of a mouth and he scares me. Adam still hangs out with him, but he told me that he does not really like Andrew all that much anymore because of the same reasons why I keep my distance from him.

Adam and I are still BF and GF, but I have to say, I started to feel more depressed now. He wanted a title in teh relationship and now we have one, but I felt like I was forced to make it that. I had a choice to be friends or closer. I did not want to lose what we had, so I said "closer". In some ways, I regrete it, but in other ways, I am happy. I do have a green monster in me and I do feel concern and jealous when he is alone with another person that I dont know. I guess it is because others left me for someone better and I dont want to get hurt again. im always being replaced.

Recently, my BF and my friend Duncan came over. Duncan has been my online frined for years and now we finally met a few months ago. He is an awsome person and Adam likes him. We stayed up until 2am playing MarioParty 7 ( lost twice ) and SSMB ( always won ^_^ ). Then Adam and I made some pancakes. He put in hot water instead of cold into teh batter, so it melted the chocolate chips. At the end, the pancakes were nothing but round brownies. They were still good. heh At the end, we unfolded teh couch and Adam and I slept on that while Duncan slept on the couch next to us. It felt weird, sleeping between two guys. We constantly joked about a threesum and it made me blush. We are such a good team because we are always on the right page, Adam, Duncan and I. Adam wanted all of us to share an apartment together, but he is going back to his parents house and Duncan lives in NH.

Oh, if anyone is interested, Ookami will be hosting a Halloween party at his apartment on the 28th of october. It will be a small furry party. We will be playing video games, watching movies, cooking marshmellows and a lot of fun stuff. He told me that Furfright is before that weekend, so he is unsure if any furries would be interested in going. A fold out bed and a couch will be provided for anyone who would like to sleep over.

There is more I would like to say, but I dont want to over stuff this journal now. Keep in touch with me, ok?

- Pussy Cat

Mew everyone. Been one hot weekend. For five days straight, there was a heat wave. It was around 90 degrees day and night. Today, it was cool, almost chilly. But then at night, it got misty and a little humid. Mew...I love my fan.

Today was interesting. I was working at Starbucks today from 6 to 10. Durring that time, someone was hitting on my coworker and then hitting on me. He was a very nice guy, but has a very high ego and talked really fast. He kindof creeped me out. When I told him that I was an artist, he did "backflips" and told me about his artistic history ( no training, self-taught ). His work wasn't professional. i showed him my small sketchbook and handed him my buisness card. He said that he would really like to hang out and show me his artwork and get my "professional feedback". i dont think I am good, so I dont think of myself as a professional. Mur. He was nice and went off with my off-the-clock coworker. he somewhat scared me and now the entire store knows about my new "boyfriend". I ended up blushing the rest fo the day. The thing is, he thinks too highly of himself and he is 30....30!! Nono! i cant be close to someone who is 6 years older than me! Mur...

I walked back and I saw my roommate, with his new girlfirend; a small asian black haired girl. They looked cute toegther. When I came back in my apartment, his room was cleaned and his bed was made. He never does that! So...I guess I know what they did.

... Im still alone and I am still thinking about my last ex. Now I know how my room mate feels. All year, he was trying to find someone to be close to, but everytime, he got rejected and depressed. I am happy that he found someone, but yet I am feeling that little green monster in me, and I am not talking about the Boston mascout. Im still trying to find that perfect someone. I have been looking for this person for a long time and always been mislead. That is love, huh? Full of mistakes..? :whimpers:...I dont know how to really handle it. I hate being alone and unwanted.

- Puss

Hi Everyone.

Sorry that I have not been posting here that much. There is really nothing that much to talk about. Lets see...let me think...

Well..I met another furry fan from Boston in person. I only spoken to him online and now I see him in person whever he comes to Ookami's DnD games. He seems like a cool guy; always playing the charasmatic character. heh.

Almost got hit by a car the other day. It was racing out of a gas station. The driver looked like a very heavy set Bling-Bling kind of person, running his pissed off mouth as he sped down the road. When I looked at the people attending the gas station, I see one of them writing down something in his hand and the other one on the phone. I guess the guy did not pay for his gas or something. He almost nicked me and gave me the finger. What an ass...

Starbucks is going well, but they are cutting my hours down to 13 hours per week. I requested to get more, but they cant do that. The stupid thing is, is that they are "understaffed". They want to save money, but need more people durring rush hours and almost half of them dont show. Its stupid. So its always rush rush rush there. I hate it when my manager is near me and asks me " How many pumps go with that? ". Whenever he is not there, I just guess how many pumps of vanilla or chocolate or whatever goes into a cup. Sometimes I put a pump to much, other times a pump to little. But I have heard no complains from anyone, and most of these people want extra pumps of sugar in their latte, so who can tell the difference >.< Making fraps and lattes is an art form, I think. Everyone makes a drink differently. One time, I got a customer saying that my drink tasted a little TOO sweet. She told me that a guy yesterday made it just right. I told her that I am not that "guy" and I will make her another drink. When I did, I added less syrup and she still bitches. I just smiled at her and said " Have a good day. " and turned my back to her. Im not being payed enough to listen to old hags complain.

Anti-Panti, my small club in DA, is collecting spider webs. Ookami is not doing much drawings of me in panties now...mew... Oh well.

"Time of the month" is coming for me and I am not happy about it. It has been a crappy month so far, weather wise, so I will be very bitchy. Right now, the water to our apartment is off from 9 in the morning to 2 in the aftrnoon. They have to fix the water pipes under the building. So that means no shower, no bathroom, no water period...:whines: I need my morning hot water! :sniffles:

Well, that is it right now. I got to see a sneak peek at Ookami's new comic. IM IN IT!! Yay! :wiggles: Im in one of Ookami's comics! Awsome Dawsome!

Well, I should get back to non-stop video games. Byebye~!

- Pussy

I was...well..I am very down today. It is right now a half an hour past midnight and I am typing in this journal. In my mind, I question about love...I mean, what is it? How can one feel that they are in love with someone? How can one tell teh difference between real love and loneliness love? I guess that is what I feel now, loneliness love. I really want to be near someone one, to hold and hug. I want to rest on his or her chest, close my eyes and let myself go. All I have is a stuff bunny that I hug all the time whenever I am in bed. Its the closest thing I could hug onto when I am very down...

Im looking at porn now...porn. Can you believe it? Well, maybe you can -_-;. I just look at teh couple images...and feel..somewhat jealous. gah, i really must be fucked in the head for thinking that...

There were times when I woudl do stupid things, just to get someone to notice me, someone to know that I exsit. Im not an attention whore. I barely get attention from anyone.

I really want to go out to drink and be in a state of drunken depression...life is horrible, love is horrible. I have never known what true love felt like. There were so many "mistakes" and "mismatches" in my life. There is only one person I wish I could still be with, but we came to an agreement to just...be friends and nothing more.

You know what, I am going out...yeah...I dont know what I will be back...

- P

I had Jury Duty yesterday. I was not happy. I had to get up at 6 in the morning and be there by 8. I left early because I had no idea where this place was. I had a small plan to dress up in the less imformale way. I dressed up in all black with holes in my clothes and gave off a notion that I dont give a damn. Heh.

I got there around 7:30 and I was sent off to the Jury Pool, where almost 200 people were waiting in rows of seats. There were a lot of college students there, so I am glad I didn't felt out. I brought my book, DS and a blanket with me to get some more sleep if I needed it. They soon started showing a video around 8:30 about how "lucky" we are to take part in something that we are obligated to do. They said that it was our choice to come to Jury Duty....I rolled my eyes and I wanted to yell out: " If I didn't show, I woudl be fined thousands of dollars! How does that make me feel Lucky?! " Well, I guess some people like to come to Jury Duty and get paid for it. I dont have a full time job, so I didn't get paid.

We were then split into groups and had to go to different court rooms. There were 4 different cases being held at the same time. I was like..." oh shit..." So, I was sent to a trial that would take 3 weeks to get through. It was a medical malpractice lawsuit that dealt with interviewing 10 different doctors. So, the Judge asked all of us questions and we answer Yes or No. By the time the Judge interviewed us one at a time for a final answer, I told her that I was Biased, my grandfather was a doctor and I respect them, I have two part times jobs, and I can not sit through 3 weeks of bitching and whining. But, deep down, I wanted to cry. I had 6 lawyers and one Judge hovering over me, taking notes and giving me the cold stare from all directions. I trembled...Talk about feeling intimidated.

I was excused and was sent back to the Jury Pool and waited yet ANOTHER hour there before one of the guards told everyone that the cases has been settled in their "own ways". We were set free. I heard a few students clapping and cheering when they were let loose.

That was my day...That is what I did for 7 hours...What a waste of my time...I am sooooo looking forward to it again in three years...

- A worned out Pussy

Yes, I said that to someone at Starbucks a few days ago. he was an ass anyways. He changed his order three times and expects to pay the same amount as the first order. Some people, huh?

Well, Ookmai is now working with me in the same Starbucks. I that good. Atleast there will be someone there that I can talk to if I am bored. He is still learning the ropes as me. We are both in the Cafe part of Barns and Noble, where it is very slow, but atleast we can learn how to make drinks at our own pace. Secretly...I have been trying to make my own drinks when no one is looking..heheh...I think one of these days, my cup will explode with foam. WEE! Whip creame!

There are somethings I dont like about Starbucks. THEY THROW OUT GOOD COOKIES! If the cookies on display in teh case are broken, they toss it out. One time, I was like: " What?! Wait! NO!!!! COOOOKKKIIIIEEEE!!!" Hey, it was a double chocolate chunk chip cookie that was as big as my hand. They said that if anyone takes the broken cookies form the "waste" bin, it would be considered stealing and that would lead to termination...Ok, let me get this clear...They toss out a good cookie. We cant have it...um...I dont understand. We can have free water, why not a cookie! Cookie cookie cookie.

I recently saw Over the Hedge. SO FUNNY! Go see! SO FUNNY!! HEHEHE! I couldn't stop laughing!

Oh, they are remaking The Omen. Ok, THAT is going to suck titties! Nothing can compare to the first Omen. I still have that on tape and it is so freaky! Now, they "upgraded it" with different actors, special effects...and Damien can talk. In the first one, he barely talks until the edn. Its stupid...are all teh good ideas in the world starting to go? Mur...

I saw the comming attractions for the new Super Smash Brothers Brawl for the Wii system. So awsome! Good effects and awsome new characters. The only thing I dont like about it is that they put in "Super moves" like the ones in Street Fighter Alpha so something like that. You know, like a super fireball fills the screen and all of that? Mur... Im glad Pikachu is in it. I always use him. he kicks tushies! Fox is cool as well, but the new designs for him form Starfox Assult is...murr..too teddybearish. They have Snake! Yay! SHOWTIMU! SNAKU!!!! mew!

I should be in Super Smash Brothers! Chibbi Pussy! Yay!

:hugs and kisses everyone: mew!

- Pussy

I should get to the copyright thing before I go on. Well, first of all, I would like to thank everyone who helped me. many of the answers were the same, surprisingly. Copyrights are very strange and they can be taken in different ways. The evnelope thing is a good idea. Also, the Legal forms are a solid metal block of protection. I have done that with most of my stuff, even though it drianed my account. $30 for each submission or per group submission 0.o. Mew... Well, I decided to use my other character for my friend's comic. To tell you the truth, the other character fits much better in the story line.

Coffee I got a second job...guess where. STARBUCKS! Gah! I was very desperate and my friend works there. He put in a good word for me to the manager and the manager really likes me. I also get huge discounts on food, drinks and even books. The StarBucks I work at is in the Prudential Mall, one of Boston's largest malls. Its where many High class people go to shop. So..of coarse, it will get busy over there...gah...I am going to work in the Cafe in Barnes and Noble. THAT is where the discount on all books comes in. EEE! The BAD news is...there are so many drinks I need to learn to make when I am working there...so many different kinds and ways to make them. I was there today for my small first day test run. I was overwelmed and confused...very confused...I need to learn small codes for drinks, how to make them and how to use the registar. Mur... I dont know if I can handle this...Already after my first day, Im scared that I might not please my Manager...

Angry Love Another part of me is really angry. One of my friends ( who is a moose -_- ), who I have/had a crush on for a while, stopped talking to me and is slowly changing his life around...for better or worse. He now lives at his folks house outside of boston, playing WoW all day long with my other...friends in Boston. He said, when I contacted him, that he "did not want to say anything to me because he is afraid to hurt my feelings" and he feels like he "is a bad person" . MY FEELINGS WERE ALREADY HURT WHEN HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME! I had to talk to my friend Katie to find out how he was doing...He has BPD, BoarderLine Personality Disorder. I know he does and I have delt with it for a long time from him, constantly repeating myself that he will not hurt me in any way and he is a great person to be around with. Everytime I am with him, i say the exact same words. I care and worry about him, but if he stopped talking to me for a stupid reason, then that makes me both angry and hurt. I know he is talking to everyone else, but not me.

...How does one feel about that? How does anyone feel about that? It hurts...really...I almost cried until I got angry. Ookami is having another DnD game at his house ( Yeah, like any of those WoW drones will come ). If that moose comes over, I am just going to walk out. I cant really stand him anymore, but yet I miss him. I keep asking if he is a friend, or someone who doesn't care anymore...

Love sucks...it really really does. People get hurt by it all the time, sometimes goes to extremes to hurt themselves or one another.

You know what..fuck it! If he wants to be an ass, he can be an ass! Asses dont care! That goes with his other WoW friends! Why do I even call them friends? They are barely aquaintences! Minus them and the Moose, I am alone...! FUCK! You know what, I am going to go out in the fucken rain and get myself drunk. Im sick of getting my heart broken so many times from people I cared about. There is no trust in the world anymore, and if there is, its nothing but a FUCKEN LIE!

Hello everyone.

Right now, I am very sad. I am somewhat scared...yet again. I need people's advice, giving me some directiosn on which direction I should go...

My friend and I is thinking about making these small comic books and maybe sometime, sell them. We are colaberating on it and planning to use our..um..personal characters. My friend wants these comics to be sold online, much like Ookami's Dear L books. But here is the thing...I am somewhat scared about using my own personal character. I mean, what if someone is going to rip it off? I do have friends who can back me up and say that I was the one who created this character.

Art thieves...Yeah, I know. I should grow up and stop worrying about them. But yet, being an artist, that is one thing you must worry about. Hell, in my college, already three paintings were stolen from one artist. Why the fuck do people take other's work, steal them in another words...

Well, I have read that once something was created by YOU, drawn on paper or typed up for the first time, it becomes LEGALLY yours. I know I am not the only one who knows this. I am sure other artists know this fact very very well. When we draw it and sign it, it is our creation, no one elses.

Ookami follows down teh same path. But yet, he is also worried in the back of his head. I dont know if any of you suffer through teh same fear. If you have a character that you love and adore so much, how much would you try to protect him/her. It could also be your fursona.

Anyways, I hope that I get some replies. I want everyone to help, if they can. I will continue to talk to all of you...but I just wish for advice. Its mostly about love...love for one's creation...

- Pussy Cat ( J )

Hehe. made ya look~

How is everybody? Hope you guys are all doing well.

Interesting, I am taking a break form my DS. Ookami got me Nintendogs and I have been playing it ever since Ookami got it. Ookami is now doing small images of me playing my Nintendog game on the DA account: http://o-kemono.deviantart.com. The first day picture is cute. hehe. <3 <3

Besides having my eyes glues to the DS, there was a small furry party at Silva Noir's house. Ookami, his friend and myself went over there on Saturday. It was a great day to walk eben though we got lost a little. Silva's house is smack dab in the middle of nowhere surrounded by forest and a pond. It was a good place to live. So quiet and peaceful, unlike living in the city. There were a few other furry fans at that party and two that weren't any type of furs. It was a small party, maybe up to 7 or 8 people. It was fun. We did outdoor games, chased the dog around, ate cupcakes, watched PumaMan ( WTF... ), ate cake, played Apples to Apples, then went out in the dark forest. hehe. It was all fun. It was a good day.

Besides that, nothing else happening. I am still looking for work but nothing...nothing is out there! :whines: I dont know what to do... Ookami is going through the same problem. Why aren't people commissioning him anymore? Its sad. Why is no one commissioning me? Mur, we are not big furry artists, I guess. The bigger the fur ball, the more money is offered, eh? :shakes head:

I think I am going to play my DA once again and vanish.... :takes my panties off and lays on my bed, watches Ruthless People and plays with my digital Huskie:

- Pantie-less PussyCat

What time is it...11:48pm? Gah! Sleepy kitty! :whines:

I just got back from watching Silent Hill with Ookami. He scored free tickets for the first screening of this movie. The movie was packed with gamers and college students.

I played only the first Silent Hill game. Back then, I was on the edge of my seat in the dark. Man, that game was freaking me out. I couldn't sleep after the first day of playing it in the dark. :shivers: Just being in the street with that flashlight...in that Hospital...:whines: so scary!!!

Anyways, the movie atthe begining was very good. The effects were great, but towards the middle and end, the story line was lost, bad acting came form everyone, and there were so many loopholes in the story that you can pinpoint WHERE something was lost. They did not have the shaved doggies...They were freaky!. They did have the small screaming babies and the nurses...Well...THOSE nurses in the movie were shown as D cup, tight dressed, ragdoll girls with small dildo size knifes... When I saw them, I was like..." What, wait...why is this in here? "

There were a few things that were in the other Silent Hill games. I never played them. I dont have the system. There was this big guy with this bird head cage on his head and a large knife. gah...I can still see him ripping teh clothes off this woman, then ripping her skin off with close up graphic detail. In some way, I couldn't help but laugh and point.

There was alot of gore in this movie. I twitched now and then due to the close up graphic detail. There is this evil girl that looked like the girl from The Ring and/or the woman from The Grudge. You can tell they they are trying to copy the Gothic Asian Horror Style. There were a few good twists here and there, but all in all, the movie was dissappointing. I heard a lot of people talking to one another, bitching about the poorness of this movie and thanked god that they saw it for free.

The only thing that I really really liked about this movie was the scenery. At the begining where they first entered Silent Hill, it was perfect. I was amazed at the surroundings, both outside and inside the School. Everything else just sucked nipples...not mine thank god >.<

They are making alot of stupid movies based off games. The only one that I like was Mario Brothers. It was playful even though it was not strictly based off of the games. It was just funny! Resident Evil ( 1 and 2 ), Doom, Street Fighter, Final Fantasy, Mortal Kombat ( 2 ), there are good examples of bad story-based movies based off of games. Ookami now told me that there might be a Castlvania movie coming out next year, made by teh same person who did Mortal Kombat. Shit, Castlvania should be made by Japanese film makers, NOT American...I hope it wont turn out like Van Helsing.

Anyways, that is the latest Pussy news. Now I must go to sleep. Tomorrow, I am playing Silent Hill and enjoy the TRUE version! Nightnight all~~~

- Les PusSy.

Wow...How long have I been asleep? Gah! My journal has cobwebs! Smash des spiders! :SMASH SMASH SMASH!:

Sorry I haven't been uploading that much. I think to myself..." What am I going to write about? What has been going on? "

Well, for small stuff: The weather here in Boston is constantly changing. Warm, snow, warm, rain..blah. Ever changing weather is shitty, but yet, it what make's Boston Boston :P. My job is cutting back my hours so I am not struggling to find a nother job and money. I am drawing now and then, but mostly playing on my DS, reading comics, shopping...mur. I dont really have anyone to hang out with, so I spend a lot of time by myself. Its been birthday maina here. Ookami's roommates were all born in April, BlueBerry Huskie Butt ( a.k.a Bleu Huskie ), and SilvaNoir. Wow. many gifts to make and give out. Much cake to give and eat...mur...I can't gain weight!!! Wait...should I be worried about that? Im already as skinny as I can be.. 0.o.

The Dearl L comic Ookami made sold well. 20 copies, $300. Most of it came from France. This cool guy, Issarlk bought ten copies for $200. He really helped Ookami and myself. But I know that we cant rely on him for money. Ookami's popularity is not great at all, and he questions " Whats the point? ". His recent Deviantart Journal entry is kindof sad, but I should be talking about myself here and not him.

Im now learning hwo to read Tarot cards! My close friend is teaching me magic spells. Its very nice! I am having trouble remembering all the cards. I bought myself an animal tarot deck and there are so many card in here that it is hard to remember everything. I also have some gem stones I always carry around with me. Sometimes they work, sometimes they dont.

um..what else....I recently tossed ballon animals off of my balcony....watched them float away...um...yeah...heh....:blushes: MY LIFE IS DULL!!!! :cries loudly:

Anyways..I think I will have some icecreame....Yeah...heh. Depression, horniness and icecreame are a good mix, eh?

- Pussy Cat ( too warm to wear panties )